would you live each moment like your last?

Cliche but true,

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END.

I don’t consider today’s activity as an official handover, but still, we handed over to the Part Cs.

I told myself not to be sad about this day’s arrival, cos no matter what we still gotta depart and move on.

But damn, listening to Nelly Furtado’s song made me sad.

My entire 3.5 years of hard work has really come to an end.

Not typing any emo things down on my blog.

Doubt anyone likes to read them and I also don’t really want anyone to read them.

Will find another place to let out my feelings.

*****

I realised my blog formatting has became really not user-friendly.

All my words are chunked up together. Shall change my blogskin soon again.

Can’t stand too many words altogether. Makes me giddy.

*****

This is terrible, the pictures above remind me of departures again.

Walau what’s wrong with my post today. -.-

Farewell Mr Boey, it was great having you as our form teacher last year.
3C really had fun with you and I know you did too!

All the best for your further studies

*****

Zzz. I cannot stand typing this post any longer.

I think I gotta focus on my studies right now.

Seriously I can’t afford to let my grades to slide any further. I’ve got too many obligations to keep it up.

And that sucks.

Goodnight. I think I have to go and worry about how I’m going to pass my physics test on Thursday.

I’m not exactly feeling very good right now

I don’t know what got into me actually.

Feeling really, heavy-hearted and troubled right now.

*After staring at this space for 3 minutes (though it feels like forever) I still don’t know how to express my thoughts*

It’s the same old lousy feeling.

That same old I-want-to-say-it-but-can’t feeling.

That same old … crap.

Seriously feeling like some crap right now.

Argh. Shall drown myself in music later.

The following song has no meaning to the above. Don’t make wild inferences. Or guesses.

Whatever.

So close so far – Hoobastank

I wake up all alone, somewhere unfamiliar.
Been gone so many days, Im losing count.
When I think of home, I see your face.
I know I have to wait

(Chorus)
So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

I miss hearing your laughter
And all the little things
Forgotten what its like to hold you
Cause where I am right now so unforgiving
Its numbing everything

So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

So promise
No matter how long it takes for me to get back to you
Youll wait for me.

I Promise
No matter how far away I go Ill come back for you
Just wait and see

I miss being at home
I miss your face
Dont think I can wait…

Were So close, yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be there with you
So close yet so far
Its tearing me apart
What I would do to be back with you

I promise,
Its tearing me apart
No matter how far away I go Ill come back for you
I promise
Its tearing me apart
What I would do-
What I would do-
What I would do to be there with you

Tell me what to do

(Walks up to hand up Chemistry papers.)

Joycelin: Mr Lee, did I do very badly?

Mr Lee: (pauses) Given your capability, yes you did very badly.

 

 

 That probably gave you a preview of my blog post ahead.

 

***

Got back our 3 papers for Sciences today.

Hmm how should I put this.

 

I did really badly. Way below my expectations.

 

Physics I know lah, I know I’ll score some shitty marks.

 

But BIO AND CHEM?

I was really disappointed with myself especially when I got back my Chemistry Paper.

I expected so much more.

And somehow, I felt really bad to Mr Lee.
Even though he sometimes really teaches some things which I can’t understand :X

At least he was the only one (teacher) that really acknowledges me for my proposals written.
And I can see sincerity when he talked to my parents.

He believed that I failed my first exam because the paper was too hard and that I’m actually smart.

This midyear paper I thought it was relatively easy.

But,

sigh.

 

Bio was equally disappointing.

Now I don’t know what to expect out of the rest of my subjects.

 

*****

Then there is this thing.

This shocking piece of news that I got today.

Currently having really mixed feelings.

I don’t know what I should do.
Though I know I don’t really have much of a say.
Everything’s like, PLANNED nicely for me already.
All I have to do is to follow.

I don’t deny I want it.
But I want both.

Guess there’s no such thing as getting the best of two worlds.

This decision is gonna be a hard one.

 

*****

Look what you’ve done – Jet

 

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won’t sing for you
‘Cause all that’s left has gone away
And there’s nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
‘Cause I just can’t think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won’t sing for you
‘Cause all that’s left has gone away
And there’s nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you’ve done
You’ve made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

):

Hi,

yesterday was a bad bad day.

 

Early in the morning I was stumped when I realised that I may not be able to attend cadet officer course if the Thai protests continues on.
Cos the Chiang Mai trip in June will be canceled and brought to first week of November holidays.

D:

 

Then later in Math class I was demoralised when Mr L said “How come you do so long still at this question ah?”

D:

 

In Chinese lesson stupid Mdm L implied that I’m irritating.
(But walau eh I where got!!)

D:

 

And after I came home from PVC meeting, I was hoping for some concern from my parents.
Instead I was greeted with cold faces and stupid comments.

Apparently my Mum doesn’t approve of me being all busy and stuff like that. I don’t know about my Dad, but at least he doesn’t make any noise.

I don’t know how to tell my parents that I’m actually ENJOYING my life right now. I don’t mind being busy I don’t mind being tired. So long as my life is fulfilling I don’t mind sacrificing my sleep.

WHY ISN’T ANYONE SUPPORTING ME AT ALL! :O

I’m doing all these for my own self development.
Since my parents can’t give me all these and develop me into what I want to be,
why can’t they allow me in my pursuit?

 

*****

Sigh late for PVC mid point check already.

emo strikes back

I’m feeling really empty on the inside right now.

And I have absolutely no idea why.

It’s a really bad thing to have this type of feeling y’know,
cos I’d end up gorging myself with food,
though it usually makes me feel better at the end.

BUT IT’S NOT WORKING NOW!

******

My day started in a rather queer manner after waking up from a dream involving these 2 people.

The thing is they’re not even supposed to appear in my dream at all! ):
Funny (as in funnily weird) things happened and aiya,couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the day. Zzz.

 

Then…

 

 

 

Oh gosh I cannot think of anything else.

Damn it it’s all cos of the stupid dream!

 

******

I need a new strategy for PVC photo collection.

Shall advertise later on.

I’m coming home

Do you know how it feels like to see your co-workers not doing anything after you know how much effort you put in?

I know.

 

Do you know how it feels to have no sense of belonging to that place in that position and how it feels to be constantly out of place?

I know.

 

Do you know how it feels like, to see something you’d prepared for screw up right in front of you?

I know.

 

Do you know how it feels like to feel unrespected?

I know.

 

Do you know how it feels like to have no say? To not have a chance to speak?

I know.

Do you know how it feels to be overruled?

I know.

 

*****

I admit I looked pretty pissed off today and ignored many people.

But it was unintentional okay!
I didn’t really know what happened until I sat on the bus for my daily reflection sessions aka EMO TIME.

 

Everything’s fine already I guess.

Sometimes I should just stop being such a perfectionist and expect everything to happen in the way I perceived it to be.

 

*****

Going HQ for the interview with Qiaowei tomorrow.

Oh god. I hope my speaking skills have not gone rusty yet.
Haven’t been speaking (as in real talking) for a long long time.

D:

*****

I haven’t been putting effort in my studies.

HOW?

*****

I’m gonna enrol myself in Project Vibrant Colours.

Actually I also don’t know what it is, but who cares.

It’s for a good cause and most importantly I’ll be kept busy

(But I heard from Grace that I’d be working with a whole group of Year 5s. Ah die.)

 

 

Run away

Someone teach me how to stop arguing with my mother.

 

*****

Sent Qiaowei off at Terminal 1 today.

Saw my other friends who are going too~~ Sook Eng, Cathlyn and Daniel Tay heh.

 

HAVE A SAFE AND FUN TRIP EVERYONE(!)

 

*****

 

Haven’t been in the best of moods for the past few days.

Must be due to school.

And periods.

 

I hate periods zzz.

Why procrastinate?

I procrastinate everywhere.

 

(know what? I took 3 days to finish typing this.)

 *****

 

Went to make passport with my parents and it was

 

Person: Your spectacles are reflecting. You want to take it off or wear fake one? (shows me a hideous pair of specs)
Me: Huh uhh. Never mind I take off.

Person: Your fringe cannot. Must show full eyebrow. You want use water? (Points to this bottle meant for spraying plants)
Me: UHHH no need. (Sweeps fringe to the right)
Person: No still cannot. NEED SHOW FULL EYEBROW.
(After one shot)

Person: (ask my mum) Okay you come see can or not.
Mum: AIYA CANNOT LAH. Your smile ah, got problem is it. (My mum hates the way I smile dunno why zzz)
Person: Yeah cannot right. Okay you can choose to not smile.

 

So ended up my photo was

spec-less
fringe-less
smile-less.
Damn I swear I won’t show my new passport to anyone.

****

I have not called up Acer Support can you believe it?

 

Answer : YES. Cos you procrastinate, Joycelin Wong.

 

I think I’m sick of waiting for the agents to pick up my phone call cos they’re always engaged.

Shall just bring it to their help centre one day.

 

For now, I shall just try and remedy the problem myself :/

Pro Joycelin.

 

*****

 Parade rehearsal today  was ALRIGHT LAH.

Pretty screwed up some parts here and there.

And it got me really shagged – must be the lack of NCC trainings in the holidays.

 

After that went over to Qiaowei’s house to make Orientation souvenirs~

Was really tired so I don’t exactly know what I was saying/doing.
I only remember rewriting “RVNCC!!! (SMILEY FACE)” again and again.

 

Alright now not only is my computer screwed, my phone’s fucked up too. I can’t seem to load anything into my computer D:

******

Random Pictures

 

My Christmas presents from Qiaowei.
(okay I know this is like wayyyy lag cos 2009 is just a day away! but don’t blame me, blame my comp for crashing and refusing to let me blog. )

 

HEY TONGJING, I LOVE YOUR CARD!

She came to my house the other day, so might as well take a picture of her to put up on my blog heh.

My Mum used to babysit her since she was a baby until around 4 years old?

HAH AND I ALWAYS PLAY AND FIGHT WITH HER ONE LOL.
(what do you expect from a single child like me? -.-)

I still remember we’d always watch Hi-5 at 5.30pm together and then my Mum would be feeding her dinner~

She’s Regina.

I’m like, 8 years older than her wth.
Can’t believe I used to PLAY and FIGHT and ACT LIKE HER AGE when she was 0-3 years old omg.

 

Her bro, Raffael :D

I find him quite cute actually.
He at first still say “Don’t want!” when I asked him to take picture lo~

 

But one thing the both of them do that gets on my nerves is

They keep asking questions (!)

I hate it more than anything when people bombard me with questions. ZZZZZ.

I mean “Okay it’s good to be inquisitive” but I just cannot stand it I’m so sorry.

(So hint hint, don’t ask me many questions. Especially when I’m in a horrible mood.)

 

****

Gah Life sucks.

I can’t believe tmrw is Countdown day already.

 

2008’s coming to an end! ): 

 

This year was, uhhh fulfilling (?)

Saw many things, gained insights, been through a lot of ordeals, made many many friends.

 D:

 

****

Emo shit’s hitting me again.

Must be too tired.

undo and restart

Hey everything’s my fault blame it on me if you (all) want.

 

I like to be busy.

But it sucks when you’re busy and you forget about other stuff.

 

*****

Leading is tough.

Following on the other hand, is way easier.

 

I’m like a puppet getting manipulated by whatever’s up there.

When I was a follower, I couldn’t wait to lead.

I knew power would be in my hands, and I’d get to decide.

When I became a leader, I realised there’s no such thing as a one-man show.

And you are bound to get setbacks whenever you decide on something.

Frustrations, moodswings, periods of emoing – All these are emotions followers can’t see.

 

Obviously, if friends and family are there to give advice and console you everything would be better.

But in case you don’t know I’m not close with my family.
Friends are confusing me.

*****

Urgh fuck it.

shall not be sad

Was really depressed today.

 

Maybe because of my Math P1 results.

 

):

 

But then again I kinda forgot all about my horrendous (it was really bad, trust me) result during CCA.

I was really tired after shouting and (more) shouting at the Part Bs today.

Sigh.

 

The Part Bs are darn lucky this year.

They’ve got so many courses available for them to go!

PDS, Fitness course (I also don’t know what it is -.-) , Freestyle Drills.

 

(Okay actually I also quite lucky considering I went for quite a lot of NCC related events this year )

 

*****

Got really Emo on the bus on my way home.

Thought about many many many unhappy things that happened.

 

Okay fine actually only got one that I still cannot make myself forget SIGH.

 

Repeated this song on my MP3 over and over again.

 

 

 

*****

Maybe I’m just too tired.

*****

Alright I’ve not bathe, have not pack my bag, have not done anything.

Shall go sleep.

:/

*****

GOING ON A CAMP!

So you all won’t see me from tomorrow to Friday.

 

I think I might faint in Australia zzz.

I’m like a busy dog.

CIP for 2 whole days on Saturday and Sunday.

Flying off next Wednesday (AND I’M STILL CLUELESS! WHEN’S THE BRIEFING?!?!??!)

 

 

Okay don’t worry, in case of emergency you can always call/sms me.

Thanks Weiqiang, I owe you one.

 

BYE I SHALL GO EAT GRAPES AND WATCH TEEVEE.